This week on ‘What About Worry?’ we have a poet from Maryland who offers insight into long-standing anxiety. This one is a must-read featuring incredible advice such as ‘ the best way to quiet it is not to allow yourself to be quiet’ and other in-depth thoughts. To support me a little more or get more content, hit that subscribe button below and let’s get into this.
Hello. Thank you for being a part of this series. To start, would you please tell us a little bit about yourself?
Hello, my name is Kate M. Sine. I am a poet and writer based in Maryland. I am an Aries and proud to be a fire sign. I have ADHD and have struggled with anxiety ever since I was young, so I am very excited to discuss my experiences growing up with anxiety.
As you've struggled with anxiety from a young age, how would you say it affects you now?
I’m very happy to say it hasn’t affected me as randomly and strongly as it did when I was younger. I was so scared of death that I would get anxious and spiral and get anxious about everything. 2012, when that was a thing. Asteroids. Conspiracy theories. I hate Nostradamus. I hate that man because of it.
The Nostradamus beef is real. Is it an evolving thing? By which I mean, has its effects changed over the years?
Over the years, I did adapt. I went to therapy and counselling to monitor my thought process and to ground myself. Grounding is like pressing against a wall, breathing, or going through your five senses.
People have different views on counselling; how was your experience?
Counselling did numbers on me. I think the way my brain reacts to things, I can process better. I still have those anxious moments if I see fake news about an asteroid coming, but I have learnt how to check my anxiety so I don’t spiral. My anxiety has evolved, though, to be about understandable things such as financing and whether or not I will meet my goals.
You have mentioned spiralling; how do you get out of a spiral?
I have found communication is key, so I don’t fall into that trap that anxiety is. If I don’t communicate, I will shut down. I will start being frantic and self-critical when the wave of anxiety hits me. I have learnt to communicate with my husband on how to break things down. Anxiety can be a very vicious cycle, especially when tearing yourself down, so it is very nice to have somebody who can help bring me out of the spiral. I’ve learnt to manage my anxiety, but there are the blips. I am very thankful that it has shifted from things I can’t control, such as the apocalypse.
Not being alone helps with everything. Having a person who can grab the thread before you spin off the reel is one of the most helpful things. This seems like a strange segway, but does fictional content affect you in any extreme way? For example, if there’s an asteroid in a film, does that cause a ripple effect in reality?
Ironically, my favourite movie is ‘Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World.’ It has Steve Carell in it, and I thought it would worsen my anxiety because I watched it amid the trigger of apocalypse, but it was the most soothing thing I could watch because I knew it was fictional, and it was so cathartic to watch. It showed me that if it does happen, you’ll be with your loved ones, you can’t do anything, you’ll go quick kind of thing if that makes sense. Fictional doesn’t bother me because it is in the realm of calculated fiction. News articles trigger me because they are jarring; after seeing one, I must run off and rant to NASA.
I feel like it is the most fitting film, oddly. It is great you can separate fiction and reality but also find comfort in reality through fiction. Do you have any other movies or books that calm you?
It’s funny to add, but ‘Independence Day’ because it is so outlandish and more action than an apocalyptic film. It also helps that they won in the end. This and ‘Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World’ are ironically my favourite films. I remember one time when an asteroid was getting close to Earth, and I was getting so annoyed with all the news that I emailed NASA and asked them if an asteroid could hit Earth. They replied that the chances were slim, and I remember just being like, ‘THANK GOD!’
Your calming films fall into the category of disaster movies, which is hilarious when discussing anxiety that revolves around disasters. You emailing NASA is probably the best example of somebody dealing with their anxiety head-on.
Thank you, haha. I remember being so fed up with being triggered, and I just had to ask them; I had to have concrete proof.
Circling back to before, from your growth, what have you found helps quieten the anxiety?
I think after all these years growing up with anxiety, the best way to quiet it is not to allow yourself to be quiet. What I mean by that is to talk to somebody. If you don’t address the roots of your anxiety, it is going to win, it is going to break you apart, and it is going to make you nervous, frantic, manic; and simply put, it isn’t good for your mental health. The best medicine for anxiety is to talk to somebody. I am thankful I grew up in a family that believes in therapy and counselling, and they taught me how to moderate my thinking. Having a spouse that helps me through it is extremely helpful. Communication is key.
I love the advice ‘don’t let yourself be quiet’ and seeing talking as a medication. Are there any ‘activities’ as such that you engage in to calm yourself? I walk, for example. Some people do yoga.
I love walking; I could walk for hours on end! One of the best things to do is to go outside and wander. I have gotten into running, too and podcasts. If there are hurdles in my day, I like to put on a podcast and clean. I love to clean the house.
Does poetry factor into anxiety in a calming way?
Most definitely. Poetry is a very therapeutic way to release the emotions you are struggling with. I love using the Notes app, but I need textiles when I have a bad mental health day. I love writing poetry in a notepad, crossing things out, and actually being in the poem. Hashing out the day’s emotions on the page.
I am a sucker for physical. I have a growing sadness with everything heading in a digital direction, so I can understand the desire for the feeling of paper. Do you have any podcast recommendations or any cleaning tips? What makes a good sponge?
I am obsessed with ‘The Judgies’. They are so funny! When I listen, I can just imagine being in the same room as them, and I think we’d get on very well. I also love ‘Basement Yard’. That is a hilarious podcast. As for sponges, I don’t really have a preference, but I love the Mrs Me’ cleaning product. My favourite is the Peonies scent.
Have you also attempted blackout poetry/erasures? They seem fitting for what you enjoy.
I tried a few times, but outside of anxiety. I would love to try it within it, though. I love editing if my head space is bad. Using pen and paper allows you to get everything out of your system. I know you can also buy books with pages from literature to black out.
I have seen those and have been meaning to get some. There is something physically pleasing about writing with a pen. I would love to see some of your blackout poetry.
Thank you, I’ll definitely try it.
Do you have any advice for our readers?
Overall, my advice would be talking, keeping communication open, counselling, going to a therapist and writing down your thoughts. Find a way to step out. Go for a walk, listen to a podcast, take a bath with fun bath bombs, or anything that makes you happy and comfortable. Don’t be stagnant with your anxiety. Challenge it as you see fit to challenge it. Don’t be quiet with anxiety because anxiety makes you quiet, and challenge it because anxiety has no right to be there.
I am truly thankful that you took the time and were willing to be so vulnerable and open. Your insight has been breathtaking, and I honestly can’t express how much I appreciate you sharing your story.
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing and being so open.