Freaks. Weirdos. Hello.
I don't believe in guilty pleasures. I think anything you love should be shouted from the rooftops. I see the cliche in movies and TV of the man liking Annie as if it's sacrilege. It is the oddest thing how things get assigned a gender they appeal to. We have taken steps to escape such madness, but I still see glimpses. I tutor boys who tell me that they can't like pink or enjoy animal crossing. It has to be blue, and it has to be Fortnite.
A part of me assumed this was a part of growing up—an obstacle that must be overcome in due time, and the wave just had to be ridden. Not everything can be taught because some things you just have to sweat out or work through. I am struck with awe at how things are still viewed with such a definition. It's odd how the world moves forward, but some things remain stagnant. I also understand this is a huge discussion, and there are factors I haven’t dragged into the ring, but it runs down the same vein of misplaced guilt.
Why should there be an assumed guilt with the things we love? Why can't we just love them and love loving them? A quick Google search gives examples of guilty pleasures, such as binge-watching reality shows or watching sappy romantic films. I see nothing but escape from our world's madness into another's madness. The over-the-top cheese market romance movies are highly predictable, and that’s okay because sometimes we need to know how things will work out. They also had scrolling on social media and liking model trains on the list, stating these as sources of embarrassment, but if we can have different musical tastes and food preferences, then why can’t our overall enjoyment of things be seen with the same level of acceptance?
I don’t feel embarrassed. I don’t know if it’s my brain chemistry or autism, but I have never felt embarrassed by my errors or mishaps. I am human, and I will have them. I especially don’t feel the need to bring shame into what I love. Embarrassment is a violence people push upon themselves, and I understand that you face-planted in front of all those people, but I bet you went down with such little grace that you invented a new style. Embarrassment encourages suffering, but why should you suffer for your mistakes? They are mistakes, and they happen; the best thing we can do is grow from them.
If you want to say Green Lantern is your favourite movie of all time, do it. If you were one of the people who loved having U2 forced onto your iPhone, then good for you. Today, I want to leave it short and sweet and ask you to tell me one of the things you keep to yourself. Tell me a song you love secretly, or share something you have been convinced you should be ashamed of. Some things we want to keep to ourselves, but shame isn’t a good reason to hold anything back. If you want to sing the theme song to Arthur and drive around town, pick me up in ten. Tell me something, but be prepared for me to fall in love with it, too.
This has no connection to the newsletter but I don’t think I’ve shared this song in a few months so incase you forgot about it, here it is again.
So well said. About 6 months ago I started working really hard to no longer be ashamed of myself. It's been tough but worth it.
I am obsessed with rom coms, reading YA books, Scottish rock music, anything with bagpipes, folk music, listening to the same song on repeat for a day or a week. I searched for over 3 years to find a used Burt Bacharach LP with "This guy's in love with you" on it. When I'm lonely and feel like scrolling social media, I turn to the playlist I've saved of all my favorite poems and independent artists. The list goes on!