the jar opener
I spoke a tiny bit about this a couple days ago but I wanted to say a little more. I have been reflecting on what I share and the reactions certain media provokes. I always notice an upshift when I talk about motivation or offer a hand or anything that runs close to self-help posting. I wouldn’t say I have been avoiding the obvious but I would say I have been oblivious to it. I started to share less on social media because I didn’t and don’t want to simply be another Instagram poet. I don’t want to give 90% of what I write away for nothing. Let me be clear, I have no issue with people who want to write in that way. Some people are content with the short form and build great communities off sharing their work in such a way but I don’t feel as if mine belongs there. It isn’t an assessment based on quality but the simple feeling of fitting in. People have a lot more energy to give on those platforms than I do. Social media feels like a constant uphill for me but substack feels like a drive through the windy lanes of Scotland. Glorious.
I feel free here. My words don’t feel limited and I don’t feel censored by an algorithm. I want to start focussing more on the media that has been causing upshifts. I want to take the short form 3x3s and use them to promote healthy messages and reminders for people who are struggling. I want to open myself completely open and put everything honest on the table. Even when the honest is sharp or an onion with the power of two million onions. I want to tell people that depression sucks and that sometimes I want to kill myself but I don’t and I want to focus on the fact that I am still here instead of focusing on that moment when I wanted to leave. I want people to stop feeling pressured to be okay. Sometimes feeling hopeless is normal. Social media is also this place where lives are made to seem magical when in fact they are mundane. But mundane is okay too. Mundane is miraculous sometimes. I want to punch the illusion in its fraudulent little face and reduce ‘happy’ to its primal fucking definition. I want to write dumb poems and help people say stupid shit in their art. I want to teach people how to truly laugh at themselves. I want you to know that your jokes are funny and you should be laughing at them. And you know that moment, when everything is so good but you just want to cry? Well, we all have that moment and we should probably just cry it out. Not every tear falls for a reason. Sometimes the world is just a little too big.
I realise that I have things to say that matter. We have to stop putting ego into equations where ego doesn’t belong. If I am open about my flaws then surely I can be open about my good qualities. I know where I fall but more importantly, I know where I rise and I want to help people see that in themselves too. You are allowed to be good at things and recognise that you’re good at them. I want to grab the world with two hands and shake it up. So let’s do that. I suck at social media but I am good with words and I just need to find a way to use them for better. That is my first confessional, what is yours?
Here is the first 3x3 in the new 3x3 series. Join me on the chat in the Substack app a little later on
This song is unbelievably good. Just put it on and feel it.