Pull close your loved ones

An ode to Windham Rotunda, and the art of forgiveness.

Occasionally, a personality will show up that can transcend the realms of the screen and become an entity you feel a part of. This was Windham Rotunda. Many knew him as Bray Wyatt. The eater of worlds. The man of 1,000 truths. The new face of fear. This man showed me that if you push yourself to the outskirts of your doing, you will find something entirely new. With every gimmick he portrayed, horror was at the core, and it is fascinating the things that can pull us from such darkness. In the strange worlds that he created, I felt a certain type of home. An acceptance of all of my interest in the spooky and dread. Horror has always had a way of being a strange comfort, and Windham had a way of helping me feel less alone, and believe me there are a lot of times in this life when I feel alone.

I am in constant search of things that can stretch my imagination thin. There are people with so much originality you can’t escape being inspired. This was Windham Rotunda. This was the man who showed me that creativity is contagious. That the only limit in this life is yourself. Without him, there wouldn’t be ‘We Are All Dead’ or ‘The HAF trilogy’. I would be a hundred poems short, still doubting those spooky parts of myself, still thinking there is such thing as ‘too much grain’ or ‘too much blur.’ He could build worlds full of characters and give life to them because he chose what parts of himself to put into them. As fictional and exaggerated as it may have been, there was an awful lot of truth to it. He proved you can bend your reality and turn it into something creative. You can escape through your art and let the darkest parts of yourself flourish onto the screen, onto paper, or whatever else you may display your work.

Windham Rotunda died at thirty-six. Unexpectedly. It is scary to think how suddenly we can be gone, and it is bizarre to think that any word could be our last. If there is one thing to take from this, it is to wipe clean your grievances. It is to reach out to anybody you love and make plans. To reconnect with those that you lost touch with. Whatever rivalries you hold close to your chest, it might be time to let them spread their wings. To those grudges you have locked in the basement of yourselves, set them free. Hug each other. Say you love one another every time your heart opens its mouth. See the world. Get coffee. Leave nothing unspoken. Put yourself out into the world in the way you want to be out there, without worry of acceptance or popularity. As Windam said himself, surround yourself with those who light your path. Let them in. The right people will love you for who you are. Build your own community of fireflies and let them guide you home.

It is the oddest thing to think that I will never witness another character or a new episode of the Firefly Funhouse. I won’t see another match or hear another promo, and I will never have the opportunity to see him live and in person. I will never replace the inspiration he funneled into me. I will never forget the times he pulled me back to something I had fallen out of love with or made me love that thing more than I ever have. There are a million words and a trillion feelings, but let me just leave with this. This has been the hardest loss of somebody I didn’t know personally. For a person who always portrayed some supernatural being, I still struggle to accept it. There is still that strange part of me waiting for the lights to go out and for him to show up holding the lantern. Now please go pull close your loved ones. And to Windham Rotunda, rest easy. This world will not be the same without you.