I have touched down in New Zealand. Beyond all the stray definitions, this is now my home. There is a bed here that I will call mine. There are routines I will build and places I will call comforting. Places I will run to when the rest of the world gets too much. I have been thrown around time zones and hit the flippers on the pinball machine a little softer because I relate more than ever now. We as humans face feats too big for us yet place flags on their peaks and leave them conquered. I believe now more than ever that we are capable of more than we ever think we are. Can’t is a cosy cabin with a wood-burning fire and surround sound stereo system strong enough to drown out the truth but fight its comforts and notice the sharp edges of its promises.
Who would’ve thought that little old me would’ve been able to travel eleven thousand miles away from my structure and comfort and feel anything other than a house fire in a gasoline downpour? Autism isn’t friends with change and changing everything hasn’t been kind on my mind and there is a long road of adjusting ahead and don’t get me wrong the fire extinguisher budget has increased a good 43% but I have managed to control it before it’s become an outburst. This is more than a life update. This is me jacking the Ted Lasso slogan and telling you to believe. In yourself and your capabilities.
Be honest and don’t tuck your struggles down the side of the sofa where nobody will find them, face them and voice them. A problem shared is three million times lighter and I know the math doesn’t make sense but the scientists haven’t made it this far down their list yet and we just have to trust it without the proper reasoning. As I wrote this I watched two dogs high five and if that isn’t the universe agreeing with me, I don’t know what is. I am here in New Zealand. The unreachable place. With the love of my life. Even the unsinkable sunk. Even the unbreakable broke. Safety is never guaranteed, but finding pride in what you’ve overcome is. Don’t let that scare you, let it encourage you to live. To pick up the axe and turn the cabin to firewood. Go further than you believe you can. Go higher than you can dream. You can, you can, you can. Now say it loud with me - I can, I can, I can! Now go prove yourself right. I’ll see you soon. x
I have no regrets linking you to that song and I will find it hilarious forever. Here is a wee 3x3 but I have to type it out because I haven’t unpacked my pens yet.
Everything begins small.
A little belief
like planted seed.
Let me leave you with a real song that has nothing to do with what I said but it is a great track and you can dance to it. Until next time…
I am so fucking proud of you man. I cannot wait to see what this Mind Noise becomes as you embrace all this newness.