It's Wednesday, time to laugh
4th November 2020
Happy midweek everybody. We have officially made it halfway. Yesterday’s newsletter was sad AF so today we are going to go the other way. Congratulations on your week so far. I wrote a dumb poem about little things and somehow it actually went somewhere and meant something so I will share that below. As for the laughing, let’s start off with a funny poem from my spirit animal, Neil Hilborn.
Laughter is a weird thing. It is picky and attuned to an individual. The poem above may not have made you laugh whilst I am here crying more than I probably should be. My humour is, put kindly, dumb as hell. It’s the kid in school who agreed to let somebody jump over him on their motorcycle and now they only have half a face. I also laugh at my own jokes and you should too because you know the type of humour that tickles you and it is a sure bet that your jokes line up with your humour. I can’t be sure what makes you laugh because like me, you are human and luckily, we are all different. So where ever your laughter hides today, find it and share with us what it is that made you laugh. Who even decides what funny is? Funny is a shapeshifter and we should probably kill it because if there is one thing I know about monsters, they will end up the villain but funny makes us laugh so we will let it live. See, dumb jokes. How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday? He had a whale of a time. What is a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash! I mean, I can confidently say, I cannot breathe now due to the laughing. Have a good Wednesday and share some jokes, some laughs, some joy. I would love to get to know your humour.
Dumb 3x3 time. Because why not? Try and write one of these yourself using the starter line ‘Hell to me…’ - (Also it is sort of a lie because we eat pancetta more than we eat bacon but pancetta is just bacon in disguise)
Hell to me,
is a fridge
void of bacon
This is for all the people beating themselves up without recognising all the progress they are making. I wanted to put a real dumb poem here but I opted for this as it has its dumb moments but overall, has a pretty strong message. Enjoy
We can say
we're going to change
but what good
is planting new seeds
if we never water the soil?
Here's a fun fact.
New years resolutions
are just made to be broken.
We can't wake up and decide
to be better then magically
be better. It takes work.
We can't clean something
without making a mess first.
We can't be the bird
if we don't believe we can fly
but I guess we'll get to that.
We're all focused on being this,
on being that
on being the latest phase but
what about you?
So many people
want to be somewhere else,
doing something else
to become somebody else
but what about you?
The magazines tell us
we can have six-packs
in like four hours
and all we need is kale
and we'll drop a hundred pounds
in like a day,
however, the health articles
don't tell you this.
They don't tell you
to appreciate
the little achievements.
You didn't add bacon to your burger,
great job.
You got a dozen doughnuts
and you gave two away,
go you!
Hell, if you only put one point nine sugars
in your tea,
congratulations, that's progress!
We got to learn to walk
before we can fly.
We got to understand
that like flowers,
we take time to grow.
Rome wasn't built in a day
but by day two
there were already some foundations.
Whatever you want, you can have it
but not here and not right now.
Have a slither of cake
that's a slither less than your last slither,
think about meditating
a little more than you thought
about meditating
the day before.
Its all progress.
It’s all heading in the right direction.
And you should be proud of that.
I'll upload a recording of this poem later. Have the best day.
Dumb poem:
Ode to the fuzz that I know is in my mask but I can’t find and is therefore driving me crazy all fucking day
Alright, tiny fuzz
You who are my newest definition of small but mighty,
You with apparent superpowers - invisibility being the chief of those,
You who might just be a magician despite the lack of the fancy top hat and scantily clad assistants,
There are merely seconds in the day when you are not on my mind,
pushing past the nachos I’m having for lunch, past the song that’s been on repeat for days, past my favorite scene from Only You, which I rewatched last weekend because Robert Downey, Jr
all the way to the front of my thoughts, where you will stay,
pushing me to the brink of insanity repeatedly
Hell to me
Is all mirrors
And no smoke