And I do not mean the chemicals that swirl through our bloodstreams and demand their spotlight. Nor do I mean the taste or the way some mornings it cleanses my body from a bad night of sleep. It is all in the ritual. Moko pot on stove full of freshly ground beans, milk frothing in the corner, and morning roast filling the air. It is more about the doing than the consequences that come when it is done. Ritual is adding order to chaos and when everything is falling down it is the affirmation that calm can be built. I am a man of rituals. Routines. With autism, these are probably more vital than they might normally be but it is the sanity I can always return to. Be it morning coffee or bedtime reading. The world we live in is frantic. Moving always and not offering much certainty these days. I think ritual to me is a take-back of control. These are dubbed as coping mechanisms but I think of them more as survival tactics. It isn’t about coping with a single situation but having something that helps during most.
It is no surprise that I use writing as a survival tactic. If I didn’t write I would probably explode and unfortunately, I don’t think that is an exaggeration. But I use drawing as more of a survival technique than I do writing. Writing is expressing and it falls out of me but if you have ever seen my art style you would see it is wild and the equivalent of punching a wall in art form. I feel with art many struggle to separate the quality with the benefits of the expression. I don’t believe my art is good by any stretch but it can calm any storm in me quicker than all things. I feel it is partly due to the scribble, quick style I have inherited as my ‘normal’ and the reason art helps me so much is that I don’t get dragged down by its quality. Whether I am expressing or surviving, I don’t sit around for hours trying to make my art a masterpiece. I feel and keep feeling till I have felt enough to feel free again.
I guess the feeling is a ritual within itself. And there are other times where I put on some loud music and dance until I feel weightless. There are so many routines that lead me to not only a simpler life but a calmer one too. The ritual of writing these every Wednesday and Sunday. In summary, I am saying this world is too often too much and it is important to have things that make it less. Find joy in the little things and don’t take things for granted. For most, coffee keeps them awake but for me, coffee keeps me sane. See you soon, homies.
Dance like the world is ending to this very song. Right now.
Lovely to have you back in my inbox!! And yay for coffee…this morning I actually took the time to grind the beans (don’t always have the time or the inclination) and am just about to take my first sip. Sanity indeed is needed for the work I do….