How to survive with music // Sunday 5th May 2024
I am answer all of the burning questions and ask some in return
I get a lot of odd questions from readers. Dear, youknowwhoyouare for asking me whether elbows or knees are hotter or potentiallyamurderer32 for asking whether I would prefer to die in a skateboarding accident or by falling through a frozen lake in the tone of a hitman giving me options. I am still perplexed by the link between skateboarding and lakes, as typically, the 'this or that' options are more related, such as 'skateboarding' or 'skiing'. Aside from this, I don't want to answer either of these questions as all of the answers suck, but I put a rusty scalpel to my throat, and I would probably say elbow and lake. Dying in a lake would have a better soundtrack, but I could have played Tony Hawk too much when I was blooming, and Papa Roach is likely a trigger. I'm not saying the song Blood Brothers is why I'm depressed, but I also might be saying it. It haunts me more than 'Heaven is a Halfpipe', which is saying a great deal . The band that sang that song actually has a fascinating history because they were initially called Stash, and then OPM stood for Other People's Money, and then it stood for Open People's Minds. It is also obviously designed to sound like the drug Opium because it was the 2000s, and we did cool wordplay back then, okay, Mum? It's several levels of stupidity, but I cannot stress enough how strange 2000s rock was. Side note: Elbow Lake or Lake Elbow is a better band name than Papa Roach or OPM.
If you had a band and you had to name it something cool but also dumb, what would you call your band?
I would devise a variant of 'Nose Dive Neck Tattoo', and the only entry requirement is that you have a neck tattoo. Everybody would expect weighty punk music, but we would be upbeat and poppy. I didn't come here to discuss 2000s rock music or try to figure out which category of music we should place Crazy Towns Butterfly, but if you know, please tell me. Instead, I am in constant wonderment over the pieces of history that become eternal, especially within a musical world. Songs transport us back to the places where things were quieter or where we were feeling something we long to feel again. It may be the youth that is being chased or a time when everything was easier. I am within an age group where people find comfort in the rock hits of the 2000s—the songs that bent genre but just far enough that they didn't break. I want to say this next part with as much gentleness as possible. If 'Bring Me to Life' by 'Evanescence' were to fall off the planet's edge and get eaten by alien sharks, the Earth would be a better place. I know this is on some people’s comfort song list, but I heard it so much that it causes me physical pain upon hearing it.
What are your comfort songs, and where do they take you?
I am not somebody who looks far back too often. I love discovering new music, and of course, I have my favorite albums, but I think the primary record I hang onto is Ryan Adams Love Is Hell. I have spoken about this record in detail many times. It transports me back to driving nowhere in the passenger seat of my Brothers Vauxhall Corsa. It is a memory I can't only remember but one I can feel vividly. I think I was too small to understand the hurting of anybody around me, but I think my brother was hurting. I feel it now in hindsight, but I also feel the healing of the record for him, and I relive the discovery of it for me. Darkness is the hardest language to learn. Some people can talk to it directly, whereas others run from its rumblings. Poetry allows me to converse with it; we are all trying to learn the slang of our sadness. Music teaches us the grammar of haunting. I do not understand the science, but it is evident that our hearts dance to different melodies, find calm in different ranges, and find peace in different shades of quiet. Not all quiet is quiet. There is something about the screams of melodic metal that does the sort of calming that little else does.
IamnormalandIasknormalquestions asked, 'What do you listen to when you write?' & I honestly enjoy silence. I sometimes turn on Deathprod or the C'mon C'mon soundtrack, but when a line comes to my head that is still tangled up in its own web, I need silence to untangle it. One of my biggest pet peeves to date was how my Mother refused to pay for Spotify Premium, and they would play the longest commercials. I swear she found the secret setting to play extended ads. I cannot handle anything unexpected because it throws me off my rhythm. That is likely why I don’t listen to the radio. Even when driving, I am thinking about certain things, and the constant pause-and-play nature of the radio drives me wild.
Are you a radio listener?
I honestly cannot stand hearing music with interruption. Every builder in the universe has a radio with a terrible sound and an even worse grip. The sort of sound machine that can’t hold onto a signal to save its life, and I think these set a bad example for me. I cannot stand radios because I feel out of control and can’t skip something I don’t enjoy. I understand that on the other end of the spectrum, it is an excellent aid for discovery, but it isn’t tuned to any personal taste; instead, it tries to appeal to everybody. The downside of music services is that we have become spoiled. Services cater to our needs, like some musical butler running whenever we call. Being autistic means that I need some control of the sound around me; otherwise, I am blindfolding myself and running across a minefield. The wrong sound or vibration can tear my stillness from its roots. Quick Geography lesson: that is how earthquakes start in my chest.
In the 2000s, a band I mentioned earlier by the name Crazy Town released a track called Butterfly, and it was their only true musical success. I look back now and wonder how we allowed that to dominate the charts. I listen to Queen, and I get it. I hear hits of the past, and I can understand why they got the fame they did, but Crazy Town? I still know all the words on the track, so they must have been doing something right, and the lead singer’s name was Shifty Shellshock, to top it all off.
However you may feel about a certain artist, song or genre, it is evident that music is a form of magic. The length of its spectrum allows everybody to find something that resonates with them and allows us all to feel a little more understood, even if it is a band called Fountains of Wayne who have some belters aside from Stacey’s Mom. It is also strange what captures the attention of the masses and what fades as quickly as it came.
Randomperson95 asked me what my favourite thing to write is, and I have to say, newsletters like these. Today’s newsletter felt like channel surfing, but I wanted to ask some questions and answer some frequent ones that I get with a side dish of discussion. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. One final question:
Where is your favourite place to listen to music?
Mine is on a night drive, but more about that soon. Until then, please sound off in the comments. I love to hear from you.
I absolutely cannot live without music. It is the soundtrack to my happiest days and worst. My strongest memories all involve music. The only radio I listen to is the bbc. I can handle being interrupted for the punctual news and I trust the djs. My favorite is playlists. I have hundreds of them. I even had one with over 6000 followers on accident for a time.
To answer your question it's a tie for me. At a concert feeling the music through my feet or in my car driving. Although I'll take a daytime drive instead. Thank you for this newsletter. I'm feeling less alone over hear today.
P.S. when I write, I prefer music. But predictable music. I have playlists for all my major projects. And sometimes it's one song on repeat the entire time.